Picnic

I  met Trevor for lunch today. I made us sandwiches and packed us some pickles and cheese and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Wheat Thins. Then I picked him up and we went to a park near his school and spread out a sheet to eat on. It was on a table, but I still spread the sheet out. I'm very traditional. I had felt a teensy bit of trepidation on my way to get him.....it feels like we only talk about hard things lately. Not because we want to, but because getting out of this muddled mess is all either one of us can think of. I miss lightheartedness. I miss happiness. Perhaps this has been some huge test to see if we can hang. Well, we can. One thing is for sure- our love for each other has grown. Loving Trevor is completely easy, and so is standing by him while he deals with what he has to face in the near future.

Now I'm thinking about the hard, unfair near future.... Blah.

While we ate, Trevor told me about his time at DeAnza, where he was taking music classes and physics classes and learning things he loved to learn. I realized again, like I always know in the back of my mind, that I need to get back into classes and move forward with life. The past 6 weeks have felt like a standstill. I am so ready to focus on making my life better- on moving forward and protecting whatever Trevor and I build together. Did I mention I have become a bit fierce in my desire to double check EVERYTHING to make sure we don't get screwed over again, ever? 

As we were talking, I asked Trevor what was going on in his life while he was in school. As he explained, it kind of dawned on me that when Trevor was taking music classes at DeAnza 10 years ago, I was taking music classes at West Valley. I didn't attend DeAnza because of traffic on 85 in the mornings. I was into the quarter system, but West Valley was closer. I sort of wish I had met him then and had him for a friend for a whole 10 years.

So anyway, now I'm all into inspirational quotes and trying to find the peace within and all of that other stuff I never needed to access until now. I guess life has been pretty easy so far, huh? Now, as Trevor says- we build on rock. No more building on sand. This is the real deal.